Dear Taipei - Part II

Dear Taipei,


Like a true friend, you have encouraged me to reflect and seek a stronger, wiser version of myself. In fact, you've encouraged me to take up my pen again. I feel that so much about my time overseas has come together in recent months; if only through a lack of many things I love, have I come to find a humbler, more introspective appreciation of them.

I've discovered that slowness is hugely underrated; at times I've sought to counter that same slowness with long-stays in populated hypercities, not unlike this one.

So too have I never really appreciated how robotic - how automated - I can become while away from nature and clean air, and all things that I take for granted in my home city.

I've discovered that there should be few apologies for times where universality should step up; yes, I know "it's the culture," but I have also come to develop a sense of what is blanketed hypocrisy and genuine cultural miscommunique. For example, I cannot apologise for being a young woman - one who likes beer - is tattooed - nor one who often sniffs at so-called consumer happiness, so too the oxymoronic "financial success" - all of which is part of one's own multifaceted identity. I cannot and will not apologise for fear that it may justify these continued attempts to have all peoples fit snuggly into a single 'acceptable' mould.

I've discovered that language is an art that should be enjoyed first and foremost, if ever truly mastered; that much of our ability to articulate ourselves in a comprehensive way relies a lot on our intuition for expression. I've realised that I need language and I need to write, just as I have my whole life, particularly in times of growth and change.

In that, should I find another national culture which resonates with my soul, it is only that motivation which would lead me to commit to both the culture and its language in the long term. Whether this is fair, politically-correct or otherwise, it's just who I am and it's rather strange to finally get my head around that.

I've discovered that the Taiwanese education style - much like that of the Chinese mainland - ultimately acts to stifle innovation and expression in favor of rote-learning and specified measurements of intellect. That in measuring character by such means can only promote a soulless search for measuring oneself against others. I see this everyday and I fear for how much it really does ring true.

At times, Taipei, I find myself jarring away from you as though I don't want to get my hands dirty in amongst your 24hr schedule. I don't want to play a part in this hustle-bustle that you so require.

I've discovered that chasing after every possible challenge like a puppy may not indeed lead me down to the right path everytime. Intuition led me to the one I love, China V.1, I.S., Hooked and Carlton lattes. All good things that have made me the person I am today. But in this case, I'm starting to develop the framework - the criteria - for making future decisions and I'm sure that will continue to ferment and shift in the course of the near future; not so puppy-like anymore.

Speaking of puppies, thankyou, Taipei, for reminding me how much of a housecat I truly am.

I've never been one for staying in situations which I find untenable. Taipei, you're not automatically in that category, as you have led me to lots of new ideas that have encased so many ideas that had before simply floated. Unfortunately, your character is just so much all at once - and just if you were a person, I find that I can only deal with so much of you at one time.

That's not all a bad thing; and I have no doubt once we leave, we'll back be someday. In the meantime though, there's so much learning to be done.